Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize