the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize