I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
