Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
