And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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