Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
