Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
