He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
