Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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