I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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