he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
my liver is dry heaving
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
