singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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