great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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