Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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