A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize