clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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