you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
