Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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