is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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