Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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