just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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