I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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