I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
