Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
