I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
