Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
