your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
