morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
