I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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