Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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