What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
smell my finger.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
