We won't sleep together?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
