I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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