I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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