sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
worst night to have a conscience
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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