Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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