At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
