Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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