Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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