so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
