I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
