He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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