i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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