We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
