Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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