Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize