No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
