I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This baby is an asshole
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
