Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
