You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You took a bar mat shot.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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