You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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