There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
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I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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