Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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