yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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