Jerry, you need to find god
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
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I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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