it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
