Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
