why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
