I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
